"the Bad Lieutenant"
(c)2010 Bob Atkinson
coffee cup in hand
up from the desk and stretched
smelled a fresh pot
through the doorway
across the hall
not far
the new Lieutenant
sat at on a stool
in the corner of my office
diligently writing his report
as he had been trained was proper
was a nice young fellow
seemed meek and mellow
as long as he didn't irritate me
I let him use my table
his rank held no status
the furniture wasn't gratis
figured he'd soon owe me
would think of a way
to collect the fee
passed him by
then he cried
Atkinson, you going for coffee?
I said
oh yes, we have the best
and continued on my journey
he said
please, get one for me?
sure..... I told him so
no matter to me
you want cream?
then across the hall I'd go
next day same scene
was working on my reports
sitting at my desk
relaxing, of course
heard from the corner
where the lieutenant was sitting
Atkinson, get me coffee!!.....
I looked up and smiled
didn't say a word this time
wasn't sure what I had heard
did not compute, wasn't cool
was this some Looney Tune?
Atkinson, get me coffee!!.....
heard it again
looked up and smiled
was the lieutenant nuts?
was he trying suicide?
Atkinson, get me coffee!!
heard it again....pleeze.....
was nearly ten
looked at my watch
seemed a slow day
sat there in thought
how should I handle
this idiot who
thought he was better
that the rest of the crew
Lieutenant,.....I did say
I believe you should be
fornicated right away
but, I didn't say it that way
back to my work
couldn't stand this jerk
who'd he think he was anyway?
discrimination of any kind
was not my kind of hay
not title, rank or pay
the ones I respect
could do the work
then go on their way
the Lieutenant was in shock
of him, his rank, I mocked
would be a reason
for Court Marshal season
or Article 15 today
then about lunch time
to the mess hall I went
left Stader in charge
and bopped on my way
soon as I left the room
the Lieutenant in his gloom
rushed over to the First Sergeant
said ...Smith we got a problem
disrespect I've been given
did you hear the way
Atkinson said
I should fornicate myself
right away?
Smith looked up at him
he usually didn't grin
but in this case
the old guy gave
his laughter away to him
You think so huh?
be careful son
this isn't your normal prey
the kid you spoke about
doesn't play by your rules
he goes his way
draws his pay
any way he wants to
you've seen him
making reveille
in his VW Beele..called...Squeaky
you see him..... now and then
in line..... but, don't count
on him next time
he'll be where he wants to be
NCO Club or on the street
driving his truck
which he considers his bus
he took my four cases
of C Rations stashed
in the trailer of his five quarter
ate them to the last
last month
we were in Wildflecken
there on a mission
he took from me
my hex tent for six
got a barbeque
and made a kitchen
carpeted it on the floor
yelled at the 3rd platoon
my electricity please
better get here soon
went to town
and filled his truck
with beer
and chocolate milk
on the Army's dime
not yours, not mine
oh by the way that truck
he drives when he wants to
always scores one hundred percent
on inspections in the motor pool
he doesn't touch it
unless he's gonna take a drive
got some soldier doing his work
it's cleaned and maintained
by magician's wand
he drives it all around
where he goes I don't have a clue
I just stay here inside
figure that one out Lieutenant
the Lieutenant wasn't pleased
he just couldn't see
how a speck five took
the discipline book
and threw it up a tree
the Captain wasn't helpful
no, I'm not able
to discipline this soldier
don't care if it's in the book
his head he then shook
the other lieutenants wouldn't help
the shave tail in his quest
no sergeants who
would help him either too
or give him counsel best
the privates they would joke
about the Lieutenant who miss-spoke
and how he would be next in line
for a trip to Vietnam
some people were called
to fight in mud and rain
from the unit here and there
you see this man had
leverage in his hand
when he had arrived
in Fulda full of pride
they had his
headquarter's troop job given
to some other guy
who thought he was sly
so, vacation relief
in regimental personnel
done for a guy named Larry
who did address
the redeployment desk
and put names on the line
for levy's of the Vietnam kind
then when Black EeTee eSsed
Bob transferred to the 58th fast
and would do his best
whenever needed
to cover Larry's desk
oh, and the Lieutenant replaced
a first louie named Westerfield
whom Bob didn't respect
who had cried
when he was sent
to Vietnam last month
at guess who's request?
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